Letter to Francesca from Vinca - IV

To Francesca de Savona

My dearest cousin and friend, how I miss your experience and advice. Such strange happenings do occur here that I find myself unable to address them without distress. I am unsure what even to do.

Blasio has arrived with his wife Margherita and young son. When first they arrived I was most excited to have my brother and his family returned. However it seems that he has joined with Agneta in trying to find a second marriage for me. The things he says to me make it quite clear that he believes my painting has no worth and that my time would be better spent embroidering or birthing children. I fear it may not be long before he convinces Papa that I should be wed again. Though I still retain my dowry it was small to begin with. I fear that there is little I could do with it and may have to bend to the wishes of Agneta.

The guests she invites to join us for dinner has increased and to hear her talk is quite distressing. She parades Fina and I about like prize mares and while once I sat meekly and felt it my duty to abide by her wishes, I find now that I have sipped of the goblet of hope, a hope of freedom, of being my own person, that her politics turn my stomach.

Blasio takes after Agneta in many ways and the gentleman he brought to meet Fina just last night is a despicable creature that I would not wish upon a rat. He is easily older than Papa and looks upon both of us as if we are nothing more than a meal, of which it seems he has seen a great plenty! I wonder that he can afford the fabric to cover his great girth! I spent hours comforting poor Fina last night and hoping I was not telling an untruth when I assured her Papa would never marry her to such a creature.

Despite the quiet acclaim that is spreading about a portrait I completed for the Vettori family, there have been no other offers for me. I often despair that Blasio is right and there is no place in the world for a woman who paints. He admonishes me that I am not nearly modest enough either and I should not pollute my mind with such things as reading and art. I realize my duty is to the family but I do not have to enjoy it. I cannot help but long for more than what is being offered. Perhaps it is a sin for me to do so, but I cannot shed such longings, though I have tried.

I find it disturbing as well how often Papa’s patron visits the workshop. I have taken to painting more and more often in the garden to avoid him. Sometimes he is most solicitous and polite, ever the pleasant gentleman. Upon other visits though, it seems he tries to raise my ire and I feel as if I am sparring against him with words, of which I have no skill! I always fear I will say something to anger him and he will revoke the favors he has granted Papa.

I believe, for a time, Agneta had ideas of wedding Fina into the Vettori family through one of Domenico’s many brothers. Apparently she has realized what a tremendous dowry that would require and even with as well as Papa does now, it would take more florins than he would ever see in his lifetime! I have considered talking to Papa on Fina’s behalf in the hopes that he would take a more active role in choosing her husband. I believe he would find her as good a match as he found me in my Simon.

Recently Signora Soletti invited me to join her and young Luca for a visit. I was both flattered and nervous by the meeting but found Luca’s endless chatter amusing. I believe the wishes of the girl for me to visit were the motivation. She has the loveliest sitting room where we sipped wine and looked out over the garden of her palazzo. When I complimented it, Luca was quite eager to tell me how small it was to the one on their country estate. Such grandness in one family leaves me overwhelmed!

Signora Soletti was most gracious, however, and again praised the portrait I painted of Luca. She is a curious woman to me. I hear stories about what a force she is in the political fields of Siena yet she is such a quiet woman. So polite and demure I find it difficult to believe that she could have any such power. I find it a relief that she does not seem as intimidating as her son!

Do you remember the musician I spoke of in my previous letter? Marin by name with as sweet a voice as could ever be imagined from God’s own heralds. I was saddened when he came to me for the last time before returning to Venice. Though our time together was short I enjoyed his company and his sweet kiss and will miss him. Agneta finally forbade me to see him but she sleeps too deeply to enforce such. She believes I would give Marin more than a kiss, though that is shameful enough in her eyes. She has no further worries since his departure. He promised to return to see me again but I do believe him fickle and will forget me once he sets foot in his home city.

My dear Francesca I have filled this page with enough of my formless chatter. I wish again you were closer and we could spend time together as we did when we were children. I miss your company and I know Fina does as well. Do take care of yourself and I hope not too many days pass before I hear from you again.

Vinca